There is a god

…and he came to me in the form of a bag of Rold Gold Baked Cheddar Mini Sticks Pretzels.

I don’t know if these things really are all that great, or if I’m just being fat (my money is on I’m just being fat), but these things really are Jesus in pretzel form.

And no, these don’t leave you with Jesus-breath.  You know, Jesus-breath — that taste left in your mouth after you finished the Eucharist.  Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.

I’m surely going to hell.