Saturday, June 21st, 2008
A Month
It’s been a month since you’ve passed, Sunny. For the most part, I can say that the days are getting easier to get through. But it’s actually a lot easier to say that than to actually feel like that. I do have my ups and my downs over what happened; there’s no doubt about it. I’m still trying to piece together everything that happened, and I think that’s the hardest part. I suppose I’m comfortable knowing you’re in a better place; probably chilling with Romeo somewhere up there. But I still have trouble grasping the fact that such a beautiful young cat had to go so early. I just don’t understand it. Not one bit of it. And that’s the hardest part of it all.
I understand you got sick and that’s why we had to make that decision to put you to sleep. It was the right thing to do; you couldn’t suffer any longer. But still, how could such a wonderful and innocent cat like you get that sick in the first place? There wasn’t an ounce of wrong in you. There was absolutely no reason for any of the events that transpired. I have difficulty with that.
Every morning before I leave for work I go to your bed and tell you how much I miss you. I suppose it’s my way of getting some form of comfort out of all of this. I know you’re not physically there, but you’ll always be in that bed in our hearts and minds. And that bed will always be there to remind us about you.
We’ve kept your favorite toy in that bed; birdy on a string. No one has touched it since you passed. But the other morning, we randomly heard it chirping. Of course your brother finally found it and decided to make it his after all this time (and lets not forget that he was once afraid of the thing, too). It was a good feeling hearing it chirp; it certainly reminded us of you and how you used to constantly play with it. Later that evening as we went to bed, your mom went to lay down only to discover that birdy on a string was now on her side of the bed. We had a good laugh about it, too. But I can’t help and think that Macky put it there to comfort us even more.
I’m still so sorry for everything that happened to you, Sunny. I have this guilt on my shoulders that it was all my fault and every day I’m continually apologizing to you in my head. I just cannot still comprehend everything and I don’t think I ever will, either. I hope the G-O-D is treating you well up there — he’s got a lot he can learn from you.
